Buzz, buzz, buzz....

The irony of having a zillion things to blog about is that I can't find the time to blog about them... and then I come across a handy-dandy list and feel compelled to share, especially in light of recent experiences, which, I might add, I am so totally over. I have learned that a) if the guy says he's an idiot, believe him; b) if he says you're too good for him, believe him; and c) if he says he's wasting your time, move on!

So, here, my lovely ladies is a Woman's Little Instruction Book (to be taken with a grain of salt):

1. Never do housework. No man every made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
3. Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in nappies.
4. What to do you if your boyfriend walks out? Shut the door.
5. The reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't dance or buy drinks.
6. Go for younger men. You might as well ~ they never mature anyway.
7. Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.
8. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
9. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
10. Women don't make fools of men ~ most of them are the do-it-yourself type.
11. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
12. The children of Israel wondered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
14. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
16. The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to the exalted status of a "former boyfriend."