Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Cosmic Laws of Dating

So my girlfriend sent me the following joke:

Shrek, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lopez were all having lunch together.

Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?

Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the hottest man alive but I've never had it confirmed.'

Jennifer Lopez agreed. 'I'm told I'm the sexiest of them all, but sometimes I wonder.'

They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to approach the Wicked Queen's mirror to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Brad Pitt was the hottest and Jennifer Lopez was the sexiest.

They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.

The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it 's true. The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.'

Brad Pitt followed and boasted, 'It is true, it has been confirmed that I am the hottest man alive!!'

Jennifer Lopez walked in; head bent, tears in her eyes and asked,"Who the Heck is Lorraine Flett?"

Which was sweet and funny. And it reminded me of my Saturday night... to which I wrote back to her:

Thank you so much... I was at a house party for Valentine's with Anthony and had the hottest guy tell me "you're so radiant, I need sunglasses!" Funny thing is I didn't even hear him. It was only when Anthony and I were on our way to another party that Anthony asked me, "does that line work in the straight world?"

At the next party (Bootie), I was taking a break from dancing when a guy came up and told me my "posture and stature were awesome," followed by another who simply high fived me! Then there was another who followed me around like a puppy – we actually smooched for a minute (hey, it was Valentine's after all!), but then I joined the line at the ladies and lost him...

I'm telling you... It's because I am not available. If I was looking for a man, no-one would have looked twice... (My man was working.)

I might just have to blog this, so here it is...

Is there some cosmic law that says men only notice you when you're not looking? And are there others I should know about?

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