Craig, Ewan and Sean...

After watching ‘The Island’, I was getting ready for my nightly chill with Letterman when an unholy ruckus erupted interrupted with yells of “help me.”

Though it took less than a minute to grab a robe and dial 911, the culprit had escaped and my downstairs neighbor lay sprawled in the hallway, pasty and corpulent in green plaid boxers. (Is this my week for unsightly viewings of aged men?) Despite the ongoing war between us (he complains at every little sound I make; the neighbors below him complain at every sound he makes), I felt sorry for him and handed him my phone so that he could explain to the police what had transpired. Not a pretty story as it turns out… a drunken vagrant who he’d befriended had taken the opportunity to rob and then assault him. Not the first time this has happened, which may be the explanation for so few of my neighbors responding to his cries for help. Still, I hate to think what would happen if someone needed serious help… I’m happy to report that at least San Francisco’s finest responded promptly with a cop car.

Back to the TV and Letterman, who is really only a prelude to Craig Ferguson, my one TV addiction. If there had been more men like him in Scotland, I might never have left… but then again, in order to meet Craig I would have had to have left since he's here. Coincidentally, he talked about ‘The Island’, and what a failure it was at the box office… a $122 million dollar flick that grossed only $137 million. So I went to sleep wondering whether it would have made a difference to the box office if Tom Cruise had played the lead instead of Ewan McGregor… but then we would have missed the Scot's accent, which actually played a part in the plot.

So I guess we have three famous Scot's actors in all... thank god we make up for it be being brilliant in other things... like being the first to perfect cloning, which was actually the plot of the movie, which by the way is well worth seeing on DVD... gotta run... I mean tiptoe across the floor lest I disturb my downstair's neighbor.